Proud....and a little bit Prejudiced.

I have always loved books.  They transported me to other worlds I could only imagine visiting.  I read from an early age and I have never stopped.  When I was very young, I couldn't get enough of Gothic horror, Victorian romance,  sea adventures...the classics.  I buy and collect them all.  Sure I had favorite authors;  Dickens, Trollope, du Maurier,  the Brontes.   But my favorite of all was Jane Austen.  Jane made me laugh.  Jane made me cry.  Jane made me want to build a time machine and go back to her world.  I felt I belonged somewhere else - somewhere other than the small world I lived in.  I wanted to travel and see her England.  I wanted it to be "my England".

Fast forward twenty years from my teens.  I'm married for the second time.  I'm a mother to two girls and another on the way.  I live a happy and comfortable life.  I still read.  Every minute of every day.  My favorite go-to book?  ... Pride & Prejudice.

Well imagine my surprise one evening when I see a commercial for a small mini-series going to be aired in the United States.   Title:  Pride & Prejudice.   I am elated!  I had seen the older movie version but this was to be a newer one.  Think of it.  Two hours each week for three weeks!  I could immerse myself into Jane's world and visualize through another's eyes what life would have been like...in my most favorite story of all time.  And then.....

YOUR FACE CAME ON THE SCREEN.  I was dumbstruck.  The British Boy...MY British Boy...was now a man.  A man acting the part of the one story I knew by heart.  It just couldn't be possible.  But there it was; being advertised as "introducing Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy".  I called my family.  I said "You must watch this series.  It's my favorite book, remember?  It's him!  You will all get to see the boy I keep telling you about.  He's a man now and he's still acting!"   I may have begged.  I may have pleaded.  But they watched it anyway.

Six hours, and one wet white shirt later,  he was no longer my British boy.  He was the world's.

They say, "Curiosity killed the cat". Well...meow.

Dear Colin,

I'm still here.  No matter how large I feel in my little corner of the world, I am tiny compared to your universe.  But my curiosity about you, the real you, has never waned.  I have always had loads of questions to ask you...questions that don't pertain to acting...or movies...or fame.   If it's okay with you, I'd like to get a few of them off my chest.  Figuratively, not literally.  But if you should feel so inclined...  wink wink.

*   Let's start this off with an appropriate first question.  What's your favorite color?  There; see how simple that was?

*   We are almost the same age - so I expect we grew up with the same music.  What are some of your earliest favorite bands or singers?  (Please don't say the Bee Gees.  Please don't say the Bee Gees.)

*   I love to read.  What I meant to say is,  I LOVE TO READ.  Memoirs, biographies, fiction, non-fiction, plays, poetry...etc.  I wonder if I have always wanted to escape real life, or just love adventure and different lifestyles.  I'm curious that way.  How about you?  What do you like to read and if you had the perfect scenario for reading, where would it be?  (Don't forget that I will be there too.  Oh, sorry.  Did I forget to mention that?  Well now you are warned.)  :)

*   What are your favorite foods?  If you could have anything you wanted, regardless of price or accessibility, what would you love to eat all the time?  Everyone has a particular taste.  Sweet, salty, meaty, spicy, chewy, etc.  I was just wondering what you like to eat.  (Because I like to eat.  Food is good...really good.)

*   I am sorry to say that I am not a teetotaler.  Do you like to partake in alcohol now and then?  What's your favorite drink?  (I promise to stop you from over-indulging if and when we get to celebrate something.  Well maybe I will.  You never know.  I might look better with a few drinks in you.)

*   I am positive you have traveled all over the world.  I guess money is good for something.  And in those travels, you have come across (and helped) many less worthy.  I think I love that about you.  I have had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting many men who don't care.  I know there are others like you;  I am grateful for that.   My question is, where do you see the most need?  Is there a place you love to travel because it just feels good to be there and it feels good to make a difference?  (My downfall is children. If I see one crying, I'm lost.)

*   Last question for the day.  I have so many but I don't want to scare you off.  I will save more for another day.  If you are reading this and haven't walked out on me...well, I'm satisfied for now.   Okay, here it is.  Planes, trains or automobiles?  (I'm afraid to fly but if it gets me to where I need or want to go...then I'm on it.  But let me warn you.  I may be a bit drunk doing it.  Wait; I will definitely be a bit drunk doing it.  So don't get all amorous and ask me to join your mile high club.  Just yet.)

Stay with me.  Please.  I want to know so much more about you.  The you that is Colin; not the you that is Mr. Firth.  I've been curious about you for over 25 years.  I can't help that kismet had a hand in striking me the first moment i saw you.  And if you stay, then I might be inclined to ply you with more alcohol.  You're welcome.  Meow.

Getting chummy with mum.

So I figured it would be a very good thing if I were to get to know the man from the one person who knew him from the beginning...his mom.  They say (well, really "I say") that if you get in with the mom you can find out a terrible lot about the boy.  I intend to.  So I tried to come up with a few questions I might ask her...if given the lucky chance to sit down with her and have a chat.

*  "What were his favorite foods as a young boy?"  (This is highly important because you don't want to prepare a meal for the man and have him gag, or worse yet, cause him to have an allergic reaction to some unknown ingredient.  But since I prepare all my meals with love...okay.  now I'm gagging.)

*  "We all played board games in the 60's.  What was his favorite and which one was he best at?"  (I certainly hope it wasn't "Password" as I would have to kick his ass on that game!)

*  "Was he an early riser?"  (This is highly important because you simply can't sleep with someone if they are never in the bed when you are!  Not that I was thinking...dreaming...of sleeping with him.  No sir.  wink wink.  nudge nudge. say no more.)

*  "Back to the foodie thing:  Does he have a sweet tooth?"  (This is highly important because if he doesn't like chocolate, I think I would just die of disappointment.)

*  "Did he ever do unauthorized science experiments with your household items?"  (I just need to make sure he doesn't still want to blow up things.  You know; safely issues and all.)

*  "What did he really want to be when he grew up?"  (This might not be important...or pertinent.  Now he just gets to play at everything he wanted to be.  Lucky bastard.  You win again, Colin.)

*  "Was he ever attracted to the 'green eyed girl next door with honey amber hair type'?"  (Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.)

I have a zillion other questions but I want to save some for when (not if) I get to sit down with Colin over a nice built guinness.  Enough said for now (said the 'green eyed girl next door with honey amber hair').

Stalk this.

As promised, here is a small list of demands (ummm, REASONS) why I am not a stalker:

1.   I am married...to a Sgt. in the Sheriff's Department....and he's big...and his deputies would kick my ass. :)
2.   Colin is married...to someone who is the total opposite of everything that is me.  (tall, beautiful, thin, Italian, dark, rich, famous....Jesus, people!  Do I need to go on because I'm seriously depressing myself.)
3.   I live in the United States.
4.   Colin lives in England...AND Italy.  Lucky bastard.
5.   Colin is tall, beautiful, thin, British, dark, rich, famous...Once again, people, I am none of those things.
6.   I don't comb the internet for any news of Colin...well at least not night and day.  To me, that would definitely show signs of "stalkism".   And frankly, I don't have the time.  I have 3 teenagers still at home.  Enough said.
7.   I don't have posters of Colin tacked all over my bedroom wall  (another sign, I believe, of being a true stalker...or at least a brilliant interior designer.)
8.   I don't live in my mother's basement.
9.   I've actually met Colin...on three different occasions....and I DID NOT throw myself at him, chain myself to his ankles, handcuff our wrists together (all brilliant ideas).  Instead, I waited patiently for him to shake my hand, put his arm around me, chat with me, take a photograph with me, and then slowly walk away in order to attend some function or another (wait colin....don't walk away yet...you smelled so wonderful....and i don't care about your fame...you looked a bit tired...you need a vacation....with me.)  What??  You silly demons.  Get out of my head.  You are making me look bad.  :)
10.   I am me.  Just me.  If you know me....or meet me...you will see that I'm just the "girl next door" type and probably the farthest type of woman that Colin might ever notice.  So he is safe.  No need to alert the authorities.

Yet.

And so it begins...

This blog is for me.  This project was for me.  It is just a diary of the moments in the past 25 years that I've spent trying to convince people that Colin was amazing.  Pre-Bridget Jones...Pre-Pride & Prejudice...Pre-Oscar.

Although the picture on my side-bar suggests I finally met the man, the myth, the legend;  it is only a small step to actually achieving my goal of sitting down and sharing a laugh and a pint with someone I've known longer than either of my husbands!

I will not be soliciting followers.  I will probably not tell anyone I am writing this.  My friends and family tease me.  My children call me a "stalker".  So my next post will be a list of reasons why that is not so.  Why my middle name should be "sweet and harmless".  Why this seems the sanest project in the world.

God, I truly hope no one ever reads this.

Once upon a time...

A very long time ago (over 25 years), I lived in Germany on an army base.  Somewhere during that time, I saw a movie with a very young Colin Firth.  No one knew who he was.  He was just a kid.  I was just a kid.  But he appealed to me.  There was just something that made me stop and think that this guy had a spark.  This guy had some internal "something" that spoke to me.  It helped that I also thought he was extremely cute in a boy-next-door sort of way.  I was hooked.  It was fate...or insanity.  But Cupid's arrow had struck it's mark and I could not tear it out from my heart anytime soon.

Several years passed and I returned to the States.  But I could not forget the boy I saw.  I could not forget the boy who had stolen a piece of me.  He would never know the mark he had left on my heart.  I would have to throw the dream of meeting him out to the cosmos and hope someday the gods would shine upon me.

And so my project began....25 years ago....to spread the word.   First to family and then to anyone who would listen to me.   "Have you heard of this young actor, Colin Firth?"  No one had.  No one listened.  No one cared.

Except me.